Ahead of International Youth Day on 12 August 2026, I want to ask a simple safeguarding question: who does a child tell when there is no teacher to tell?
For many children, the school holidays mean freedom. But what if school was the only place where somebody outside the family might notice that you were frightened?
What if you are not allowed to go to school? What if you are persistently absent, excluded, being educated at home, or have simply disappeared from the places where adults outside your family used to see you?
What if you are being taken abroad?
What if your phone is checked?
What if you do not know the words forced marriage, female genital mutilation or coercive control?
And what if the people you would normally be expected to turn to are the people you are frightened of?
Safeguarding cannot depend upon a child being visible enough, confident enough or knowledgeable enough to ask for help.
That is the gap I believe we need to look at much more closely.
If you are a young person and you are frightened
You do not need to know the legal name for what is happening to you. You do not need to prove that somebody is planning to hurt you. You do not need to wait until something has happened before asking for help.
You may be worried about a marriage you do not want. There may be sudden talk about travelling abroad and nobody will tell you why. You may fear that you, your sister or another girl could be subjected to FGM. Someone may control where you go, who you speak to, what you wear, whether you can continue your education, or who can see your phone.
Or you may simply know that something is wrong.
That is enough reason to speak.
You can start with one sentence:
“I am frightened about what my family is planning. I need to speak to someone privately.”
You can also say:
- “I do not want to travel.”
- “I think someone is planning a marriage for me.”
- “I am frightened someone is going to hurt me.”
- “My phone is being checked. I cannot speak safely.”
- “Please do not contact my family before speaking to me.”
You do not have to tell your whole story in the first conversation. You just have to begin.
Who can a child tell when school is closed?
It does not have to be a teacher. Think about whether there is one safe adult outside the situation: a doctor, nurse, police officer, social worker, youth worker, sports coach, relative, friend’s parent, neighbour or another adult you genuinely trust.
If you are under 19 in the UK, Childline is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. You can call free on 0800 1111 or use its online services. Childline says calls are free and do not appear on the phone bill. A call may still remain in a device’s call history, so think about digital safety if someone checks your phone.
If you are in immediate danger in the UK, call 999.
For forced marriage, the UK Government’s Forced Marriage Unit provides specialist advice. Its normal telephone line operates Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm. GOV.UK also gives an FCDO out-of-hours number for urgent consular help.
But there is a point we should not avoid: a service existing does not automatically make it accessible to a frightened child.
A young person may not know which government department to ring. They may not have their own phone. They may not speak English confidently. They may be afraid of the police. They may be watched. They may not know that what is happening to them has a legal name.
Safeguarding has to work for that child too.
What if someone checks your phone?
Your safety comes first.
If somebody controlling or frightening you checks your phone, messages, browser history, accounts or location, contacting help from that device could sometimes reveal what you are doing. Where you safely can, think about whether there is another way to reach help: a trusted person’s phone, a device outside the home, or speaking privately to a professional in person.
Do not put yourself in greater danger simply to collect evidence.
You can tell the person helping you:
“Someone checks my phone. Please think about how you contact me.”
That one piece of information can change how a professional communicates with you.
What if I am being taken abroad?
If you fear you are being taken abroad for a forced marriage, try to seek help before travelling if you can do so safely.
If you reach an airport or another place with police or security staff and believe you are in danger, tell a member of staff that you need to speak to somebody privately.
You can say:
“I am frightened about this journey. I do not want my family with me while I explain.”
For British nationals already overseas, GOV.UK advises contacting the nearest British embassy or consulate and the Forced Marriage Unit. The help available will depend on the circumstances, nationality and country involved.
What if I am outside the UK?
Forced marriage, FGM, family violence and coercive control cross borders, but laws and services differ from country to country. UK safeguarding law should not be presented as though it applies everywhere.
Child Helpline International provides a country-by-country directory of child helplines. Its global network includes more than 150 members across more than 130 countries and territories, while also acknowledging that not every country yet has a child helpline.
If you are in immediate danger, seek the emergency service appropriate to the country you are in where it is safe to do so.
The international challenge is therefore bigger than publishing telephone numbers.
Every child needs a safe route to be heard. Not every child currently has one.
The child we cannot see
There is another audience for this article: every professional who works with children.
Teachers are central to safeguarding because they see children repeatedly. They notice changes that an emergency service seeing somebody once may never see.
A child becomes quieter. Attendance changes. She becomes frightened about a holiday. There is sudden talk about travelling abroad. She is no longer allowed to stay for clubs or revision. Her friendships are restricted. Or she simply stops appearing.
Freedom Charity’s existing forced marriage and FGM holiday-risk guidance emphasises acting before a journey and taking fear seriously before school closes.
But there is a harder question:
What happens when the school gates have already closed?
England’s Child Safeguarding Practice Review Panel has published a briefing on safeguarding children in elective home education. It draws learning from serious safeguarding reviews and identifies the challenge of children becoming less visible to safeguarding agencies when school is no longer a protective factor.
That finding needs care.
Elective home education is lawful. Home education is not evidence of abuse.
Many children are educated at home safely and successfully. The safeguarding issue arises when reduced visibility sits alongside other concerns: coercion, abuse, neglect, unexplained withdrawal, restricted communication, family violence, threatened travel, forced marriage, FGM or the loss of opportunities for the child to speak independently.
The same principle applies to children who are persistently absent, excluded, in alternative provision, missing education, prevented from attending, or suddenly removed from routine professional contact.
The question is not which label sits in a database.
Who is actually seeing the child?
Ten questions professionals should ask before contact disappears
- Have I spoken to the child alone?
- Does the child have a safe way to ask for help outside school hours?
- Does somebody else control their phone, accounts or location?
- Is unexpected or unexplained overseas travel planned?
- Is the child frightened about the holiday, travelling or returning home?
- Has attendance, behaviour or participation changed suddenly?
- Has marriage, FGM, family reputation or bringing “shame” on the family been mentioned?
- Is the child’s opportunity to see friends or trusted adults becoming more restricted?
- Which independent adult is likely to see this child next?
- What happens if the child does not return?
England’s current Working Together to Safeguard Children guidance reinforces that safeguarding is a shared responsibility and applies to all children.
Professionals should not wait for a child to deliver a perfectly worded disclosure. Fear often arrives in fragments. Adults have to be capable of hearing them.
What I mean by the safeguarding disclosure gap
I use the term “safeguarding disclosure gap” here to describe the space between a child being at risk and having a realistic, safe opportunity to tell somebody who can help.
I am not presenting this as an established statutory or academic definition. I am using it as an analytical question that deserves more attention.
The gap can be physical: the child no longer attends school.
It can be geographical: the child has been taken overseas.
It can be digital: somebody monitors the child’s communications.
It can be linguistic: the child cannot describe what is happening in the language services expect.
It can be psychological: fear, loyalty, shame or threats make disclosure extraordinarily difficult.
And it can be systemic: help technically exists, but the child does not know about it, cannot reach it privately or does not believe it is meant for someone like them.
A helpline that cannot be reached is not a safety net for that child.
We must stop placing the burden entirely on children
There is a phrase adults use far too easily:
“Why didn’t she tell somebody?”
I think we should ask another question first:
“When did we give her a safe opportunity to tell us?”
Did anybody speak to her alone?
Did anybody explain forced marriage before she was threatened with one?
Did she know FGM was abuse before someone arranged it?
Did anybody ask why she was terrified about travelling?
Did someone notice when she stopped attending?
Did we provide a route to help that did not require a monitored phone, perfect English, knowledge of government departments or the courage to walk into a police station?
Children have responsibilities appropriate to their age.
Designing the safeguarding system is an adult responsibility.
International Youth Day: being heard has to mean something
International Youth Day is marked every year on 12 August. I do not want simply to tell young people that their voices matter. I want us to examine whether we have built systems in which they can actually use those voices.
That requires schools, social care, health services, police, charities, community organisations, technology companies and governments.
It requires child-friendly services that are available when children actually need them.
And it requires sustainable funding for organisations trying to reach people whom conventional systems sometimes miss.
But above all, it requires adults to understand something very simple.
“The child most difficult for us to see may be the child who most needs us to look.”
So before the next school holiday, the next unexplained absence, the next sudden journey abroad or the next child quietly removed from ordinary life, there is one question I want every safeguarding professional to ask:
“Who will see this child next — and what happens if nobody does?”
Safeguarding cannot close when the school gates do.
About this work
Aneeta Prem MBE is the founder of Freedom Charity and writes on forced marriage, FGM, dishonour abuse, child safeguarding and human rights. Freedom Charity provides safeguarding education, resources, training and support for people affected by forced marriage, FGM and related abuse.
Read Freedom Charity’s forced marriage and FGM holiday-risk guidance.
The practical help in this article is free. Those who wish to sustain Freedom Charity’s work can support it through donations, educational books, awareness products, fundraising and legacy giving.
Sources and further reading
- GOV.UK: Forced marriage and the Forced Marriage Unit
- Childline: Contacting Childline
- Child Helpline International: Find a child helpline
- Child Safeguarding Practice Review Panel: Safeguarding children in elective home education
- Department for Education: Working Together to Safeguard Children 2026
- United Nations: International Youth Day
- Freedom Charity: Forced marriage and FGM holiday risk
How to cite this article
Prem, A. (2026). Who Do You Tell When There Is No Teacher to Tell? Forced marriage, FGM and the safeguarding disclosure gap when children disappear from professional sight. Aneeta.com, 11 August 2026.
Related on Aneeta.com
- Freedom Charity and safeguarding
- Why I say dishonour abuse
- But It’s Not Fair: forced-marriage safeguarding novel
- Cut Flowers: FGM safeguarding novel
- Press and media information
- Media and speaking enquiries
First published 11 August 2026. Substantively reviewed 11 August 2026.
