Name the abuse
Record the actual behaviour: threats, coercion, surveillance, document control, forced travel, sexual or physical violence, and the involvement of others. Do not reduce the case to a vague cultural label.
Aneeta Prem
Why I Say
Dishonour Abuse
Abuse does not become honourable because a family or community approves of it. At Freedom Charity, we introduced and campaign for the term Dishonour Abuse because responsibility belongs with those who control, threaten, injure or silence another person.
Official bodies commonly use the term “honour-based abuse”. Freedom Charity introduced and consistently uses “Dishonour Abuse” because there is no honour in coercion, violence or control. I support and use that language while retaining official terminology where legal precision requires it.
Read Freedom Charity’s guidanceThe victim has not brought dishonour.
The person who chooses abuse has.
The argument
There Is No Honour
The official phrase “honour-based abuse” carries the perpetrator’s claimed justification inside the description of the harm. I believe that language should never imply that honour belongs beside threats, coercion or violence.
When a girl refuses FGM, a young person says no to a marriage, or someone chooses education, work, a partner or safety, they have not dishonoured anyone. The wrong lies with those who punish freedom and call that punishment duty, culture, faith, family loyalty or reputation.
There is no honour in controlling another person’s life.
Language and safeguarding
Why Words Matter
What official guidance calls honour-based abuse can involve coercion, intimidation, threats or violence used to police behaviour that is said to affect family or community reputation. The underlying conduct may include controlling or coercive behaviour, stalking, assault, abduction, sexual violence and other criminal offences.
Dishonour abuse may involve several people. One relative may threaten, another may monitor a phone, and someone else may hold a passport, arrange travel or report back to the wider family. This is why contacting relatives or attempting mediation without a proper risk assessment can increase danger.
Police, prosecutors and public bodies use “honour-based abuse” and related official terminology, so professionals must recognise those terms in guidance and case records. Freedom Charity uses “Dishonour Abuse” in public campaigning because official terminology should not be mistaken for moral truth. I use the same language while retaining official terms where precision requires them.
Read the Crown Prosecution Service guidanceA safeguarding test
What Must Change
Cultural sensitivity must never become professional silence.
Do not contact the family
Trying to mediate or seek reassurance can expose a disclosure and increase the danger. Safety must come before family agreement.
Act before the crisis
A child should not need to disappear from school, be taken abroad or suffer violence before professionals recognise the pattern and act.
Freedom Charity
Why I Speak
I co-founded Freedom Charity with Lord Toby Harris in 2009 because forced marriage, FGM and related abuse were still being hidden behind silence, shame and a fear of appearing culturally insensitive.
More than 100,000 copies of my safeguarding novels have since been donated through Freedom Charity. The books give children and young people language for experiences they may not yet know how to describe.
Working with children, families, schools, professionals, government and the media has shown me how easily warning signs are missed when the words are softened. My position is simple: the victim carries no dishonour, and public institutions must never repeat the perpetrator’s moral claim as though it were neutral.
Help and enquiries
Guidance, Support and Comment
For journalists, researchers and public bodies looking for an evidenced UK honour-based abuse expert or commentator, Aneeta Prem MBE’s verified Public Record documents parliamentary, safeguarding, media and public-service work, including the campaign to use the language of dishonour abuse.
Safeguarding informationFreedom Charity guidanceSpecialist supportFreedom Charity helplineMedia and policyPress kit and enquiries
Read the verified Public RecordFGM: law, prevention and safeguardingForced marriage: law, help and safeguardingCall 999 if there is immediate danger.