Name the abuse
Record the threats, coercion, surveillance, document control, forced travel, violence and involvement of others. Do not reduce the case to a vague cultural label.
Aneeta Prem
Why I Say
Dishonour Abuse
Abuse does not become honourable because a family or community approves of it. I use dishonour abuse because responsibility belongs with those who control, threaten, injure or silence another person.
Freedom Charity provides safeguarding guidance and specialist support. This is my argument for changing the language.
Read Freedom Charity’s guidanceThe victim has not brought dishonour.
The person who chooses abuse has.
The argument
There Is No Honour
The phrase “honour-based abuse” carries the perpetrator’s excuse inside the description of the harm. It allows the idea of honour to remain beside threats, coercion and violence. It does not belong there.
When a girl refuses FGM, a young person says no to a marriage, or someone chooses education, work, a partner or safety, they have not dishonoured anyone. The wrong lies with those who punish freedom and call that punishment duty, culture, faith, family loyalty or reputation.
There is no honour in controlling another person’s life.
Language and safeguarding
Why Words Matter
Words affect the first response. When abuse is softened into a “family matter” or a “cultural issue”, urgency can disappear at the moment it is most needed.
Dishonour abuse may involve several people. One relative may threaten. Another may monitor a phone. Someone else may hold a passport, arrange travel or report back to the wider family. The person asking for help may appear calm because fear has taught them to be careful.
Police, prosecutors and public bodies use “honour”-based abuse and related official terms. Professionals must recognise that language because it appears in guidance and case records. I use dishonour abuse in public campaigning because official terminology should never be mistaken for moral truth.
Read the Crown Prosecution Service guidanceA safeguarding test
What Must Change
Cultural sensitivity must never become professional silence.
Do not contact the family
Trying to mediate or seek reassurance can expose a disclosure and increase the danger. Safety must come before family agreement.
Act before the crisis
A child should not need to disappear from school, be taken abroad or suffer violence before professionals recognise the pattern and act.
Freedom Charity
Why I Speak
I founded Freedom Charity in 2009 because forced marriage, FGM and related abuse were still being hidden behind silence, shame and a fear of appearing culturally insensitive.
More than 100,000 copies of my safeguarding novels have since been donated through Freedom Charity. The books give children and young people language for experiences they may not yet know how to describe.
Working with children, families, schools, professionals, government and the media has shown me how easily warning signs are missed when the words are softened. My position is simple: the victim carries no dishonour, and public institutions must never repeat the perpetrator’s moral claim as though it were neutral.
Help and enquiries
Guidance, Support and Comment
Safeguarding informationFreedom Charity guidanceSpecialist supportFreedom Charity helplineMedia and policyPress kit and enquiries
Call 999 if there is immediate danger.